Let’s Put the X in… the worst song lyric ever

OK. I contemplated my music-related X topic for a while. I thought about profiling Australian singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist and all around cool Aussie dude Xavier Rudd. He’s certainly X-worthy, with those blue eyes and that big, long didgeridoo! Love Xavier.

But I got to thinking about my E is for earworm post. It’s bad enough when a song you mildly enjoy gets stuck in your head, ad nauseum. But when it’s a horribly cheesy, offensive to your ear wax and brain, I-can’t-believe-someone-wrote-this/recorded-this/sold-this SONG?

Yep. My X is… “Let’s Put the X in Sex” by KISS. I never enlisted in the KISS army as a youngster, not my cup of tea. I admire their marketing tactics (makeup, no makeup, makeup again). I can tolerate a “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night” every now and again. But the song in question. Please. Allow me to present to you a lyrical sample:

“Baby, let’s put the X in sex

Love’s like a muscle and you make me wanna flex”

Really? Really? I wonder what their long-time, die-hard fans thought when they first heard that gem. Did they write them off? Forgive them? Did it shatter the bonds connecting their fans to their music? I can barely bring myself to include video proof but I will. It’s pretty much Safe For Work, since it was safe for early 80s Mtv. (But not so safe for your intelligent sensibilities.)

KISS guitarist Paul Stanley co-wrote the song with Desmond Child. The latter name may not be familiar to you, but this is a songwriter who has collaborated with many notable musicians over the years and has written some serious chart-topping, sing-along-at-the-top-of-your-lungs favorites. I’m talking like “Livin’ on a Prayer” with Bon Jovi and “Livin’ La Vida Loca” with Ricky Martin kind of BIG. (I’m thinking “Let’s Put the X” was a big black X on his musical resume.)

Bands. We love ’em. All their songs? Eh. Sometimes they miss the mark.

Do you have a horrible song lyric you’d like to share? Or how about a funny, misheard song lyric? When my brother and I were kids, we thought AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap” was “Dirty Jeans in the Washing Machine”. I love a good misheard song lyric; so much so, I wish I wrote this book: ‘Scuse Me, While I Kiss This Guy: And Other Misheard Lyrics.

(It’s now a web site, too)

So…any songs you’d like to put a big X in as your own personal worst song lyric ever?

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  • messymimi

    While i can’t think off hand of such a song (i will later today, when i’m no where near a computer), sometimes i’d like to forget some of those awful country music titles!

    • http://www.jesstopper.com/ Jessica Topper

      Oh true, the country songs are so literal. Ooof!

  • AnotherCleanSlate

    Haha i forgot those lyrics. Thanks for the laugh :)

    • http://www.jesstopper.com/ Jessica Topper

      You’re welcome! :) His hand signs in the video cracked me up. LOL

  • http://twitter.com/ellenmgregg_nh Ellen M. Gregg

    Too funny. I’ve heard of Desmond Child, so there’s that. I used to butcher the lyrics to Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” and to a point where I can’t even remember what they (the butchered ones) were. Which is probably a blessing. :-)

    • http://www.jesstopper.com/ Jessica Topper

      Oooh, that’s a fun one to butcher! Thanks for stopping by, Ellen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lily.strange Lily Blumensyko Strange

    Kiss has some ludicrous lyrics sometimes, but I can’t help it, I love ’em.

    • http://www.jesstopper.com/ Jessica Topper

      Thanks for popping by, Lily! Good to have a fan weigh in. I think all of our bands have those “Spinal Tap” moments, don’t they?

  • poke the rock

    since i can understand english better now…i am very disappointed with a lot of english lyrics, especially rap music, no wonder i never liked it

    • http://www.jesstopper.com/ Jessica Topper

      Oh I totally agree, some songs sound better when you don’t know the language!